What if Hot Topic was a movie? This week, The Nightmare Before Christmas! 

Thank you to our ghoulish Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter, Jonathon Day and Karen Curd. If you'd like to conflate holidays like them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

This holiday season, it’s important to remember the true meaning of Christmas: letting a man die of a spinal injury in the snow after you steal his clothes and transportation.

Thank you to our rosy-cheeked Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter, Jonathon Day and Karen Curd. If you'd like to be nice and not naughty like them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

The closest thing to a Thanksgiving movie we could find was Addams Family Values, a movie about a Halloween-y family going to summer camp.

Thank you to our ghoulish Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter and Jonathon Day. If you'd like to be performatively macabre along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

In 1988, Nintendo released a game that finally let you play as Mario, Luigi, Toa...

Look, let’s not play around here. You played as the Princess from 1-1 to 7-2. You can’t lie to us.

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson, Kristin Carter and Jonathon Day. If you'd like to be super and warp to World 7 along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

Two servants stop a rapist cult leader scientist who is holding two innocent people hostage in a dank castle AND THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BAD GUYS. This week: The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day. If you'd like to Time Warp along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

A story of a pig who wanted to be a sheepdog and a man *chokes* a man who *sobs audibly*

That'll do Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day. That'll do. If you'd like to "baa ram ewe" along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

Join Damon and DJ as they explore the strange, shoulder pad-dominated world of the 80s. How very.

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to haul your ass into the caf, pronto, along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

Physically unappealing characters plod through a washed-out apocalyptic wasteland in The Land Before Time, the movie that you watched at numerous sleepovers at that one really religious friend's house.

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to follow the Tree Star to the Great Valley along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

Today, DJ and Damon bravely debate where exactly the Danger Zone lies. Modern day Iraq? The Fertile Crescent? Or (as one religion posits) Jackson County, Missouri?

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to ride into the Danger Zone along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

You ever see Michael Madsen sleepwalk? You want to? This week: Free Willy!

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to hold us like the River Jordan along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

You can mock it, but this movie did a lot to raise awareness of facial removal surgery. This week: Face/Off!

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Amy Parman, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to participate in the slo-mo gunfight of patronage along with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

Y'know that feeling in a horror movie when she goes upstairs and you yell, "No! He's up there!!!"? Well, replace "goes upstairs" with "trusts white colonists" and replace "He's up there" with "He's going to kill you, enslave you and force your progeny onto reservations" and add a cute raccoon. Boom: Pocahontas!

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Amy Parman, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to paint with all the colors of the wind with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

Sometimes -- and I think we all know this -- you just need a hotshot lawyer with a DUI who hates kids to turn your rag-tag peewee hockey team around. Damon and DJ watch The Mighty Ducks.

Thank you to our All-Star Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Amy Parman, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to get in flying-v formation with them, please support the podcast at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

We tried to get DJ to participate in this conversation, but he just kept standing in the corner doing the Hundred Hand Slap and saying "Can't you do better than that?" over and over. It was really frustrating. 

Thank you to our True Champion Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Amy Parman, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to hadouken your way into greatness like them, please support us at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

Teenagers with attitudes.  Interdimensional beings that were in the mood. Don't just stand there; let's get to it. Strike a pose there's nothing to it: morph.

Thank you to our locked and loaded Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Amy Parman, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to be radical Megazords like them, please support us at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

Any one could have said, "I've never seen that. I've never seen someone drive their garbage to the curb, then bang the hell out of it with a stick. I've never seen that," but only Tom Hanks could make "I've never seen that. I've never seen someone drive their garbage to the curb, then bang the hell out of it with a stick. I've never seen that" funny. This week, The 'Burbs.

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Amy Parman, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for supporting us. If you'd like to be good neighbors like them, please support us at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

In our 50th episode, we review Titanic with special guest Laura Taylor!

Fun fact: in the original cut, after Jack screams "I'm the king of the world!", there was a shot of King Neptune saying "Oh yeah?" while rubbing his hands together malevolently. 

Thank you to our Patrons, including Larissa Maestro, Dan McIntyre, Ghost in the Burbs, Amy Parman, Joshua Nicholson and Jonathan Day for never letting go-- metaphorically of course. If you'd like to be the flotsam that saves us like them, please support us at https://patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot

This week, we look at a movie that, if the Internet is to be believed, is IMPOSSIBLE to enjoy due to its scientific inaccuracies: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

Special thanks to our Patrons, including Dan M., Jonathon D., Joshua N., Amy P. and Ghost in the Burbs!

If you'd like to become unshrunken, normal sized patrons like them, please support us on Patreon at patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot! 

This week, we look at a movie that, if the Internet is to be believed, is IMPOSSIBLE to enjoy due to its scientific inaccuracies: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.

Special thanks to our Patrons, including Dan M., Jonathon D., Joshua N., Amy P. and Ghost in the Burbs!

If you'd like to become unshrunken, normal sized patrons like them, please support us on Patreon at patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot! 

Today, we look back on Home Improvement, the story of a strong wife and her sons living under the constant threat of electrocution, flooding and fire by living with a man drunk on his own machismo and the tutelage of an unseen mentor named Wilson.

Special thanks to our Patrons, including Dan M., Jonathon D., Joshua N., Amy P. and Ghost in the Burbs!

If you'd like to crank up the power like them and make the gutteral sounds while donating, please support us on Patreon at patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot! 

Ghost tells the story of two white, rich, young people whose love traverses the void betwixt this life and the next.

Or something.

Also the ghost solves a mystery.

Special thanks to our Patrons, including Dan M., Jonathon D., Joshua N., Amy P. and Ghost in the Burbs!

If you'd like to mold the clay of creativity along with them, please support us on Patreon at patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot! 

Today, we look back on Sister Act 2, a movie that had one job: come up with a believable reason that Whoopi would have to hide her identity again. 

Special thanks to our Patrons, including Dan M., Jonathon D., Joshua N., Amy P. and Ghost in the Burbs!

If you'd like to be dope and not whack like them, please support us on Patreon at patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot! 

Today, we look at Sister Act, a movie whose fun Catholicism made Damon question his atheism and whose FRIGGIN' CUT Harvey Keitel made DJ question his heterosexuality!

Special thanks to our Patrons, including Dan McIntyre, Jonathon Day and Joshua Nicholson!

If you'd like to follow them wherever they may go, please support us on Patreon at patreon.com/yourinnerchildisanidiot!