Merry Christmas. Where’s the Tylenol?

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you to our Patrons for emptying the sh*tter for us: Brianna Bailey, Josh Frigo, Travis Vance, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Larissa Maestro, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Beth Surmont, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dan McIntyre, David Mort, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Heather Tuggle, Shit on the Cartouche!, Jeremy Powlen, Just Cuz, Hizoner the Mayor, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Kevin from Cleveland, Lindsey Nell, Particle Man, Scalfasaurus, T. Smith, The Zesty, Tyler Richardson, Amy Parman, Caroline Amberson, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Emeka Obika, Emily Bucago, Jackson Eppley, Jarrad Holbrook, Jason X, Jessica Hurtado, GoodCause, Jirah Cox, Joshua Nicholson, Justin Shea, Kristin Carter, Manstrocity, Toxoglossa and Vincent Jorgensen

On the menu: monkeys’ brains and a red herring.

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you to our Patrons for taking the secret passageway with us: Brianna Bailey, Josh Frigo, Travis Vance, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Larissa Maestro, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Beth Surmont, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dan McIntyre, David Mort, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Heather Tuggle, Jacob Grimm, Jeremy Powlen, Just Cuz, Hizoner the Mayor, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Kevin from Cleveland, Lindsey Nell, Particle Man, Scalfasaurus, T. Smith, The Zesty, Tyler Richardson, Amy Parman, Caroline Amberson, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Emeka Obika, Emily Bucago, Jackson Eppley, Jarrad Holbrook, Jason X, Jessica Hurtado, GoodCause, Jirah Cox, Joshua Nicholson, Justin Shea, Kristin Carter, Manstrocity, Toxoglossa and Vincent Jorgensen

A woman (not Ellen Ripley) tries to stop an evil organization (not the Weyland-Yutani Corporation) from breeding an alien race (not xenomorphs) as a biological weapon.

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you to our Patrons for somersaulting skillfully along with us: Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Larissa Maestro, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Beth Surmont, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dan McIntyre, David Mort, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Heather Tuggle, Jacob Grimm, Jeremy Powlen, Just Cuz, Hizoner the Mayor, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Kevin from Cleveland, Lindsey Nell, Particle Man, Scalfasaurus, T. Smith, The Zesty, Tyler Richardson, Amy Parman, Caroline Amberson, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Emeka Obika, Emily Bucago, Jackson Eppley, Jarrad Holbrook, Jason X, Jessica Hurtado, jgoodcause, Jirah Cox, Joshua Nicholson, Justin Shea, Kristin Carter, Manstrocity, Toxoglossa and Vincent Jorgensen

Sometimes when the He-Manning gets too He-Manly, you need a She-Ra.

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you to our Patrons for defending the honor of Grayskull: Travis Vance, Josh Frigo, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Larissa Maestro, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Beth Surmont, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dan McIntyre, David Mort, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Heather Tuggle, Jacob Grimm, Jeremy Powlen, Just Cuz, Hizoner the Mayor, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Kevin from Cleveland, Lindsey Nell, Particle Man, Scalfasaurus, T. Smith, The Zesty, Tyler Richardson, Amy Parman, Caroline Amberson, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Emeka Obika, Emily Bucago, Jackson Eppley, Jarrad Holbrook, Jason X, Jessica Hurtado, jgoodcause, Jirah Cox, Joshua Nicholson, Justin Shea, Kristin Carter, Manstrocity, Toxoglossa and Vincent Jorgensen

You probably haven’t thought of what damage Looney Tunes antics could do to a human spinal column until now.

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you to our Patrons for helping us cheat death: Larissa Maestro, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Beth Surmont, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dan McIntyre, David Mort, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Heather Tuggle, Jacob Grimm, Jeremy Powlen, Just Cuz, Hizoner the Mayor, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Kevin from Cleveland, Lindsey Nell, Particle Man, Scalfasaurus, T. Smith, The Zesty, Tyler Richardson, Amy Parman, Caroline Amberson, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Emeka Obika, Emily Bucago, Jackson Eppley, Jarrad Holbrook, Jason X, Jessica Hurtado, jgoodcause, Jirah Cox, Joshua Nicholson, Justin Shea, Kristin Carter, Manstrocity, Toxoglossa and Vincent Jorgensen

Just some jacked-up twunks in BDSM gear and furry panties engaging in low impact wrestling…for kids!

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you to our Patrons for protecting the fabulous secret powers of Grayskull: The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Beth Surmont, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dan McIntyre, David Mort, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Heather Tuggle, Jacob Grimm, Jeremy Powlen, Just Cuz, Hizoner the Mayor, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Kevin from Cleveland, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, Particle Man, Scalfasaurus, T. Smith, The Zesty, Tyler Richardson, Amy Parman, Caroline Amberson, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Emeka Obika, Emily Bucago, Jackson Eppley, Jarrad Holbrook, Jason X, Jessica Hurtado, jgoodcause, Jirah Cox, Joshua Nicholson, Justin Shea, Kristin Carter, Manstrocity, Toxoglossa and Vincent Jorgensen

Remember that movie with the chipper songs, playful scenes and beautiful technicolor? This is its sequel, and it’s very not that.

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you to our Patrons for keeping our severed heads nicely displayed: Beth Surmont, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dan McIntyre, David Mort, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Heather Tuggle, Jacob Grimm, Jeremy Powlen, Just Cuz, Hizoner the Mayor, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Kevin from Cleveland, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, Particle Man, Scalfasaurus, T. Smith, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, The Zesty, Tyler Richardson, Amy Parman, Caroline Amberson, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Emeka Obika, Emily Bucago, Jackson Eppley, Jarrad Holbrook, Jason X, Jessica Hurtado, jgoodcause, Jirah Cox, Joshua Nicholson, Justin Shea, Kristin Carter, Manstrocity, Toxoglossa and Vincent Jorgensen

I don’t know why / I chase you like I do. / 

Tell me, who / can destroy my house as much as you? 

So let’s take each other’s low fronts / and we’ll swirl into the final F5. / Mad about Twisters, baby. (hoo, hoo!).

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you to our Patrons for keeping us free from the Suck Zone: Beth Surmont, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dan McIntyre, David Mort, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Heather Tuggle, Jacob Grimm, Jeremy Powlen, Just Cuz, Hizoner the Mayor, Jonathon Day, Karen Curd, Kevin from Cleveland, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, Particle Man, Scalfasaurus, T. Smith, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, The Zesty, Tyler Richardson, Amy Parman, Caroline Amberson, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Emeka Obika, Emily Bucago, Jackson Eppley, Jarrad Holbrook, Jason X, Jessica Hurtado, jgoodcause, Jirah Cox, Joshua Nicholson, Justin Shea, Kristin Carter, Manstrocity, Toxoglossa and Vincent Jorgensen

A show with a frank look at teenage life and a terrible read on Anne Frank.

Special thanks to Benny Goldstein for editing this episode!

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Thank you or whatever to our Patrons: Scalfasaurus, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Larissa Maestro, Tyler Richardson, Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Hizoner the Mayor, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, jgoodcause, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Joshua Nicholson, Jason X, Jackson Eppley and Emeka Obika.

Mum’s the word!

No, but seriously, rate and review us in your preferred podcast app.

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Thank you to these Patrons for keeping it toit, even in the afterlife: Scalfasaurus, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Larissa Maestro, Tyler Richardson, Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Hizoner the Mayor, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, jgoodcause, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Joshua Nicholson, Jason X and Emeka Obika.

The only way this could be more Southern is if it were cast with penguins.

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Thank you to these Patrons for being so genteel: Scalfasaurus, Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Larissa Maestro, Tyler Richardson, Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Hizoner the Mayor, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Joshua Nicholson, Jason X and Emeka Obika.

Watch in wonder as James Spader nervously feeds a 5th Avenue bar to a space cow.

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Thank you to these Patrons for joining us in jewelry shopping: Dr. Malcom’s Heaving Bosom, Larissa Maestro, Tyler Richardson, Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Hizoner the Mayor, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Joshua Nicholson, Jason X and Emeka Obika.

In the finale of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, we finally get the weird slow-motion Hobbit bed frolicking we all deserve.

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Thank you to these Patrons for joining us in jewelry shopping: Larissa Maestro, Tyler Richardson, Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Joshua Nicholson, Jason X and Emeka Obika.

The debate has raged for years: what are the two towers of the title? Is it Orthanc and Barad Dûr? Maybe Orthanc and Cirith Ungol? Perhaps Faramir’s base in Ithilien is in the running?

In this week’s episode we’ll finally...barely address it.

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Thank you to these Patrons for joining us in jewelry shopping: Tyler Richardson, Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Joshua Nicholson, My Neighbour Burrito, Jason X and Emeka Obika.

A hobbit attempts to make a return without a receipt.

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Thank you to these Patrons for joining us in jewelry shopping: Tyler Richardson, Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Little Flick, Joshua Nicholson, My Neighbour Burrito, Jason X and Emeka Obika.

We look back on 1977’s ‘The Hobbit’: the ur-stoner road movie.

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Thank you to these Patrons for going with us on The Greatest Adventure: Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Little Flick, Joshua Nicholson, My Neighbour Burrito, Jason X and Emeka Obika.

Watch a six-year-old, torn from the only family he’s ever known, try to make his way back home. Along the way, he’ll be chased by an obsessed woman, forced to live in a barn, and sold into slavery at a cruelly-run circus. Oh! And Cookie Monster!

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Thank you to these Patrons for telling us how to get to Sesame Street: Justin Shea, Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, My Neighbour Burrito, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Little Flick, Joshua Nicholson and Emeka Obika.

Spidey’s back, and this time...it’s uneven, with a lot of shoehorned plots and characters.

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Thank you to these Patrons for thwip-ing our hearts and minds with their support: Dan McIntyre, Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, My Neighbour Burrito, Christine in Brooklyn, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Justin Shea, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Little Flick, Joshua Nicholson and Emeka Obika.

This time Spider-Man fights a scientist who’s been driven mad, and is trying to rescue years of research through illegal activity and general terrorism. I know, I know! But THIS time, Spidey KNOWS the guy!

This episode brought to you by Juni Essentials sustainable bamboo toothbrushes. Go to https://juniessentials.com/ and enter the code INNERCHILD at check out for a 20% discount.

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Thank you to these Patrons for thwip-ing our hearts and minds with their support: Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, Dan McIntyre, The Zesty, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, My Neighbour Burrito, Christine in Brooklyn, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Justin Shea, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, SeeNerdRun, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Little Flick, Joshua Nicholson and Emeka Obika.

In this episode, we look back on Spider-Man. No, not that one. Not that one. Not that one. Not that one. Wait, go back one. Yeah, that one.

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Thank you to these Patrons for thwip-ing our hearts and minds with their support: Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, Dan McIntyre, The Zesty, Joshua Nicholson, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, My Neighbour Burrito, Christine in Brooklyn, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Justin Shea, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, SeeNerdRun, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Jason Lumpkin, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Little Flick and Emeka Obika.

Romance! Dancing! Abortion!

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Thank you to these Patrons for having the time of their lives: Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, Dan McIntyre, The Zesty, Joshua Nicholson, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, My Neighbour Burrito, Christine in Brooklyn, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Justin Shea, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, SeeNerdRun, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Jason Lumpkin, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Little Flick and Emeka Obika.

Whites be whiting. 

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Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-inner-child-is-an-idiot/id957660267

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4BHABEvxH02VSCkhvKX2HQ?si=NHxzzArHSxGnxFUvTEpbNQ

Thank you to these Patrons for being excellent to each other: Particle Man, Heather Tuggle, Dan McIntyre, The Zesty, Joshua Nicholson, Karen Curd, Larissa Maestro, Lindsey Nell, T. Smith, Jeremy Powlen, Jonathon Day, The Supreme Ruler of This Podcast, Just Cuz, Kevin from Cleveland, Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Brandon Hardy, Hizoner the Mayor, My Neighbour Burrito, Christine in Brooklyn, Damon’s Australian Accent, Dramatically Placed Hot Dog, Jacob Grimm, Jirah Cox, Manstrocity, Justin Shea, Vincent Jorgensen, Kathleen Campagna, SeeNerdRun, Toxoglossa, Dan McIntyre is the Worst, Amy Parman, Emily Bucago, Jason Lumpkin, Caroline Amberson, Jarrad Holbrook, Kristin Carter, Little Flick and Emeka Obika.